ok so i did this bad thing today i guess you could call it bad. man why did i have to listen to my stupid heart again. i felt bad for Lina a little bit i guess. i do owe her for not being as there for her as i should be. idk i know I’m a asshole now cause i really just cant give a fuck anymore. it will kill me if i go back to caring too much. alot happened this night. i thought about myself in a different light so i guess that was good. it was a weird day. i cant really say Vince convinced me. i guess my band was on my mind alot. thinking of them made me feel bad. so i guess this weekend wont be something I’m telling them about. i hate these feelings i get. i use that word alot hate. ok so i don’t like these feelings i get of peace and all these things that don’t exist that come with this. its pretty weird thinking about when i use to do this often and now. sometimes i like to think i have it all figure out when i really know i don’t. i still have very little control. that is not a good thing for a Scorpio. i glad i held back so much tonight. now all i need to do is get back to my regular but not after i get mines first. its jut really hard right now. i really need to speak more on this when I’m sober. i have a clear mind to judge what i have done with this night. plus my heart wont be beating like its about ready to run away from my chest. i cant believe its 6 am. i haven’t been this sleep deprived since around this time last year. haha i have lived a crazy life. now if only my friends will just realize it. but i guess i could say the same for myself. i should try to take a walk in somebody else shoes one day. i always enjoy a good new perspective on things. maby it will be good for me. that is if i cant tear myself away from myself to actually do somethings like that. be i guess i shall see. while I’m just killing time you know what i dont like. drinking. haha it makes me feel pretty weird. i guess i like the way it feels. i brings out the man in this fem scorp.
ahhhh i know he is my best friend and i love him to death but c’mon can you just let me live like i want to. I’m have been so happy just being. without all this drama you want me to live in. i know you don’t think it is but i know people too well to know where your trying to lead is just pure drama. girls = drama, techno = bullshit, helping all these “homies” is drama. i just want to live my life the way i been. staying out of everybody’s bullshit and just doing me. really i don’t want or need anymore of my old life when i was a kid and didn’t know anything about the world. i keep telling everybody, i know who i am and i know what i want. and imma get what i want how i want to. i just don’t know y everybody keeps worring about me. i know they r my friends and they care about me and that’s perfectly fine with me, just care about me from a far if u have to and let me do me. don’t get me wrong i love all my friends to death i just hate people telling me what to do. imma a grown ass man and i know a lot about this life that i am choosing to live by the grace of god.
Ok let me start off by saying i love confide since the beginning. too many grasshoppers is the best song ever. So i was a little sad to hear they got softer with “Shout The Truth” but once i heard it i didnt give a fuck. That album is a masterpiece in my eyes. The original version not the remastered one. that one was ok but im getting beside my point. Im here to talk about “Recover”. Ok Joel didnt bother me at all joining the band. I actually liked the latest video for Never Saw this Coming and i was hoping Recover would be more like that song, but wow did they get catchy. For a track called Delete Repeat i really thought i was listening to A Day To Remember. Like really guys what happen to your metal edge. Don’t get me wrong the entire album is not that bad. There are a few changes and surprises hidden among poppy vocal from Joel and even more catchy but just as equally heavy break downs. I will say Ross’s Vocals are amazing in this album. its a little double recorded too much at times but still they have to have something heavy still about them if they are going to call themselves a “metal” band anymore. So what can i really say about Recover. For Confide fans its def. worth a listen to. I think they could have done better but im not on a fairly major record lable like Tragic Hero. I think the kids and the girls will eat it up. Especially Joel’s heavenly vocals haha. Just kidding but Joel is great. I like what he adds to the band as far as vocals, it makes them a modern day Underoath since Underoath is going to not be as great anymore without Aaron Gillepse. But oh well. go check out the homies Confide’s New album “Recover”
- who are you, why have you come here
- you appear so strange to me
- i dont like your habits
- but another style of like is called for here
- oh its something i like very well
- spilling guts
- “i guess this is closure”
- you came at the right time
- another scary, scary bear
- to reveal who i really am
- but a man trapped by his own past
its not just my imagination. its weird now. ahhh and all this weirdness is just making me angry. so angry…but my anger can and will be a good thing this time. i will redirect it into something that i need. either that or hold it all in until Monday when i can beat the shit out of some kids. haha all i knw is that no one better rub me the wrong way any time soon cause i will unlease